Who broke you in your life

Be classy and kind. If you believe it is in your best interest to no longer talk to them, then do just that. Lock your doors, don't meet them in person, and move on with your life. If you feel that they could be a threat to your safety, physically or emotionally—you don't have to entertain them, just tell them to go away. You don't have to entertain any messages that come to you or make any efforts at reconciliation. If you want to spend your time focusing on other efforts, then do so.

But if you feel like you want to see what's there, don't jump to conclusions. People return to their exes for a number of reasons including:

  • Sex.
  • Guilt.
  • Looking to get money; they are broke.
  • To apologize and have you as a friend.
  • They want to give love another try.
  • They miss the heck out of you and just want to see where you are in life... and leave things on a better note.
  • They want to see if they can manipulate you again and again and again...
  • Their life fell apart, and you are the last resort to them getting better.
  • They want your brother's/sister's phone number.

Don't immediately jump to the conclusion that they are there to win your heart and get back with you. Listen to them. Be wise. Be considerate. Be as respectful to the person as you would like to be treated. Encourage them to speak, give them a cup of tea or coffee, be a positive experience for them first. When you feel comfortable with why they are approaching you, when you feel they've given you enough information, then you can decide where to go next.

Most likely they'll return to you first through texting or other social media. Whatever they say to you, make your response short but friendly. Let them know you're not going to wring their neck or cut off all the buttons on their nice shirts. It took a lot out of them to build up enough courage to reach out to you, writing a text, of course, is easy—but swallowing your pride and committing to opening up communication is a lot to risk.

So tread lightly. Be positive, not negative. Keep your interactions healthy. Don't delve deeply into the past to figure out what happened; you should have done that by yourself and figured out what you needed to during the breakup. If you're asking them questions about the past, you are telling them essentially to go away, and that you don't believe in reconciliation.

Keep things really light. Go out for coffee, not a symphony and steak. Don't bring them around all your friends and family, keep it private. Keep it friendly. You got this. You are strong, and you have already survived a breakup with them, so know it's going to be okay.