One of the most difficult questions, we ladies must face, when we are in a relationship is the question, “Is my boyfriend over his ex?”
The reason why it is difficult is that it is hard to distinguish whether what you feel is actually the truth or maybe you’re just being paranoid. The agony of observing how he relates to his ex, analyzing every action and statements he says about them, and trying to figure out if what you think about him is right is exhausting. Trust me, I have felt that.
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To tell you honestly, I have experienced a season in my relationship with my boyfriend where I also asked the question, “Is my boyfriend over his ex?” It was hard. I was too scared to ask him directly because it may sound like I’m jealous, but I wanted to know as well and be assured that he truly loves me. I tried to dismiss the thought in my head, but it keeps coming back. The more I try to shove it off, the more it rings loudly inside my mind. Because of the battle inside me, I didn’t realize that I started to doubt him and his love for me which in turn resulted in cold wars and fights.
Since I don’t know how to handle my dilemma, I prayed. That was the best decision ever. When I started to lift my fears and doubt about my boyfriend through prayer, God started opening my eyes and showed the things that I need to see. He steadied my heart, gave me wisdom through His Word and the people I trust, and gave me the right perspective.
Are you also asking, “Is my boyfriend over his ex?” Let me share to you 5 ways to know that he is indeed over his ex, based on experience.
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Also read: My Marriage is Ending: Is There A Way to Save It?
Is my boyfriend over his ex? 5 Ways to know
He will be genuinely happy for his ex
When I was praying and seeking wisdom and insights from the people I trust, my mom told me that when a guy is happy for his ex, he is already over her. This means that he does not feel any bitterness anymore and is not affected by the things that are happening in his ex’s life.
When your boyfriend can truly say he is happy for his ex, especially when she finds someone else, this is a sign that he is over her. If he is not affected anymore, it means that he is free and clear from any emotions or connections that he has with her. Remember, when a person can let go of someone with happiness and joy, they have accepted what happened and have moved on.
He doesn’t talk about her anymore
I was observing my boyfriend and somehow saw that he never talks about his ex anymore. What he is interested in talking about is us and how we can help each other improve. The only time he mentioned his ex is when he wanted to point out to me how he learned from that circumstance.
You know that your boyfriend is over his ex because he will not talk about her anymore. He will not mention her every time you are with him nor will he compare you to her. He will be occupied in getting to know you and how both of you can plan for your future together. This doesn’t mean that he won’t open or talk about what happened to them since it’s important also that you know his past. He can talk to you about her but when he is over her, he will not keep mentioning his ex to you.
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He doesn’t dwell on the past
We all know that when a person is healed and has moved on, he or she will not dwell on the past. The same goes for boyfriends and their exes.
Throughout my relationship, I have never heard my boyfriend dwell on his past with his ex. Instead, he focuses on our present and plans more of our future. A guy who is over his ex will never dwell on what happened and how their relationship was before. He will not keep reliving and retelling his time with her. Instead, he will dwell with what he has with you in the present and what he desires for your future together.
You won’t feel threatened about his ex
We, ladies, have this intuition that tells us if something is not right or threatening. If you don’t feel threatened about someone, that means they are safe.
My boyfriend and his ex are good friends. I don’t mind them being friends because when I observe how they relate with each other during group meetups, I don’t feel threatened. I don’t feel anything is still going on between them.
You know your boyfriend is over his ex if he treats her just like how he treats his other friends. Also, you won’t feel threatened because he will make sure that you will feel safe and will assure his love for you. He won’t hesitate to let you know that you don’t need to be worried. Your internal intuition would not feel anything.
He makes you his priority
When I was struggling with the “is my boyfriend over his ex” thoughts, I saw that he plans our dates weekly and he never fails to pursue me. Whenever he has spare time, he makes sure that he spends quality time with me. That is when I realized that he is indeed over his ex.
You will know when your boyfriend is over his ex because he will make you his priority and not her. He will pursue you and will not hesitate to show you that he wants to be with you.
I hope these 5 points will help you answer the “Is my boyfriend over his ex” dilemma. But most of all, aside from looking at these points, I suggest you pray. Pray that God will show you the things that you need to see and that He will change your doubts and fears to truth and faith. I’ll be praying with you, as well.
Don’t forget to check out the communication tips for relationship improvement that I mentioned above!
Written by: Hannah Aloyon
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